2025-06-08_Whalers

Salix vs Whalers on 2025-06-08 at Barn Elms (Season 2025)

Report by Mikey

And so we come again to the not infrequent occurrence of a Salix captain pacing the boundary, concern etched across his face, a gait familiar to those who have previously fouled their own underwear before the night has ended: the walk of a man who knows he may pick up the ultimate Salix accolade of presiding over the lowest team score in the club’s history.

CK is the proud owner of the current record, a monstrous 40 in 2017 against the mighty Regals CC, who by strange coincidence we no longer play. Obviously this was actually in no way CK’s fault: the match report has been lost to the mists of migration, but suffice to say it was likely that specific Salix brand of brain dead batting that invariably takes hold at least once a season and makes the captain at the time wonder if today is the day the mantle is passed onto them.

At 8 for 3 against quarter of a century old foes Whalers, Capn TFC already had the slightly shocked look of a tuberculous ridden badger caught in the headlights of a tractor slowly bearing down upon him, his 3rd cigarette since his departure for zero hanging from his lips, the ash an inch long. His replacement at the crease, new boy Michael, had demonstrated he belonged in the team with a quick 1 and Syed had done little better.  130 last week, infamy in Salix folklore this week: would today be TFC’s day of doom?

Unfortunately not. Relief came in the form of a quite incredible 92 run partnership between Sai and Krutik, both of them looking at ease with the bowling on offer and the latter clearing the boundary rope a couple of times.  Sai departed but Krutik went on to get his 50. A few semi respectable partnerships followed and in the end we set a decent-ish 161 from the 35 overs, likely about 20 below par but a shed load better than it had looked at the beginning of the afternoon.

Syed opened the bowling on fire with a two wicket maiden, both snorters that lifted onto the batsmen and were well taken by Krutik behind the stumps. At that stage we thought it might be over quickly and we could get down the pub and watch Sinner finish off Alcaraz, leading as he was 2 sets to love.  Unfortunately, Whalers, a bit like Alcaraz are made of sterner stuff and dismissing their openers only brought one of our old nemeses, Jeff, to the crease who set about dismantling our total.

That said, I should have caught him out when I lobbed in a slower ball that was actually effective; but just as I was running forward to take the catch a voice to my right shouted out, “Dillan’s” but not in Dills’ voice. Now one might argue I should still have caught it: I would agree and it should go in the book under my name. But I do think if the muppet wearing the captain’s hat shouts out another name, making you hesitate before taking a step, then he should join you in ignominy. Thanks for coming indeed.

In the end it was actually closer than it appeared it might be. Sai and CK bowled well and picked up 3 between them, one guy retired to take care of his kids and Syed returned to pick up their top scorer when he was on 73. Sadly it was too little too late and those extra 20 runs we needed likely made the difference.

I think on balance, Whaler’s batting was superior to ours with its depth, but our bowling in depth was a shade better than theirs; on another day it could have gone another way. Thanks to them for yet another great game, played in the right spirit and they were just too good for us on this occasion.