1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


Injuries

slip.jpg (11412 bytes)Injury 1:The Rodbert lip (sadly no photos of the seven stitches and chipped teeth from the Xmas 97 nets). Inflicted by the legendary T Bingham, prototype team fast bowler and sports car owner.
Injury 2:The Fletcher jaw.  See my lovely new dentures in all their full colour glory (two roots, four teeth and a bit of bone)
sfinger.jpg (33628 bytes)Injury 3: The Shilling finger.  A sight to behold
bencut.jpg (13644 bytes)Injury 4: New for 1999, our keeper gets one through his gloves, and gets six stitches over his left eye playing v the Phene.  And him just back from his honeymoon too.......
craigstoe.jpg (14944 bytes)Injury 5: From: Craig Brown Sunday, December 19, 1999
To: Andy Bush
Subject: You broke my toe you evil bastard!
And now I can't go skiing over Christmas/New Year... Well, not really broke the toe, actually, but I did lose the nail on the second toe of my left foot from that yorker you bowled me last Thursday! I'm sure you're dreadfully sorry and that you're racing down right now to the shop to get me a Get Well Soon card--but you needn't bother.
Craig ("Best new player - season 1999") Subject: RE: You broke my toe you evil bastard! 20 December 1999
To "Best New Player season 1999"
What can one say apart from you should have learnt to move you feet by now!!! As a bowler one should not have to remind a batter of how to play the game. How hard can it be to hit a 3 inch diameter ball with a 2 foot plank of wood?
From "Best Bowler season 1999"
Injury 6 and it's not just us that are unlucky.... One of the London Nigerians got injured on 12 Aug 1999
From: fmordi Date: 17 August 1999

STATUS REPORT: Hairline fracture sustained. I have noted this in my diary under the ''services rendered for the glory of country'' column. yours painfully,   Chuka.
From: Harte, Michael    Sent: 20 August 1999
Tony, this was the guy who 'hurt his thumb' during the match - the one playing with the glove on his left hand! I can't remember which of your guys was batting at the time but I thought you'd be interested - for posterity of course.
Injury 7: From: Daveski   22 March 2000 Subject: Another injury....

I have to report another injury, at the Nets,  a bad break, as I was bowling  to  Andy Bush. Andy made good contact with the ball, but as the ball went one  way, half the bat went another, and the remainder of the bat stayed in Andy's hand.   Don't think it was the bowling... More likely to be the batting. And maybe the legacy of batsmen who rarely get anywhere near the middle of the bat...
From:  Bushy
As for the legacy of people that rarely hit the middle of the bat, all I can say that as a bowler the opportunities for me to hold a bat are rare let along cause any damage due to repeated edge abuse... Three swings a game maximum.  At this point in time I would like to add that it was Dominics old bat...not a lot else to say really.
Injury 8: Date: 10 November 2000 11:38 I have been to the doctor this morning and can confirm that I have an ingrowing toe nail which he is certain has been caused by my bowling (front foot big toe), so yet another victim of this dangerous and vicious game. Prognosis good, should get away without surgery, appointment with the chiropodist to be made. Have a good weekend Steve-O
Injury 9: Alex got an almighty whack on the shins at silly mid on. Check it out. (You'll be pleased to know we have bought some shin pads now)  
Injury 10: Hi Tony, guess what - i got a 'fletch ball' in the gob yesterday ! first ball of the innings too. a quick one that reared up off a dickie wicket. after the mandatory 5 hour wait at the Bournemouth A + E to check nothing broken (luckily me teeth survived but they made a neat hole clean through my cheek) but got the stitches, tetanus jab and anti-biotics treatment. must look at helmets. my face is a bit of a mess now.
Chazza (27/8/01) (not playing for Salix at the time though)
Injury 11: Re injury from France tour: crack across middle joint rh index still unable to put ring back on . no x-ray picture sorry! it was a compression break (ball hit on end of finger) . Tinker
Injury 12: The rather spectacular bruises our opener got from the left arm quick bowlers in our ritual humiliation against the Cricketers at Old Deer Park in 2001.
Injury 14: There is no injury thirteen. That would be plain unlucky. Here in full colour, our opener Nurdler shows his bruising skills
Injury 15: Mr Bush Senior drops a hard one at the Prez and pays for it. A high tech photo taken in the pub by Mr Rogers phone and lit by Fletchs Zippo
Injury 16: More High Tech with the Rhod-o-phone of Mr S. A large crack on of the shins of Dr F who was too old, fat and slow to get out the way of one in the slips at the Tavs in 2003. Note shamefully disgusting 20 year old socks.
Injury 17: It would be nice to say that the team only get injured whist playing but sadly that's not true: in 1998 our flying Dutchman, the Jaapster, managed to whack his thumb whilst tossing the ball around pre match. It kind of cleared up with no problems after a few days. Fast forward 5 years to a high tech Holland Hospital where they diagnosed it has been dislocated and had to operate to put it back - leaving a good 2.5 inch (that's 12 kilometers in metric) scar.
Injury 18: According to the Swordsman this large bump (dent?) occured off a fast one delivered by a Slovenian quickie. I was umpiring at the time and can confrim it was against Slovenia, and it was a large bump, and it was caused by a ball. But a quickie... (note rest of team staring at something more interesting..)
Injury 19: We kick off 2004 with this fine bruise and sprain sustained by our new Overseas International, Warrick. Notice the fine definition and good swelling. A commendable new season effort!
Injury 20: And our season continues well with Nixta's 6 stitches in his thumb attained whilst fielding against the Serb Sloggers (photo of blackened toenail not shown for reasons of taste..yeah right) Addendum: Nixta writes: My toe had to be drained again after yesterday's effort. Wish I'd video'd that for the web site... (Ed this comment gives a lie to the idea that a picture is worth a thousand words)
Injury 21: A rather sad little scratch from our resident paceman Steve-O. (Ed: I think that we are going to have this page restricted to Hospital visits only otherwise people wil be sending in photos of broken fingernails and smudged lipstick)
Injury 22: Mr Purple (key bowler) writes (Feb- 2 days before the final) : Minor disaster - I managed to drunkenly fall down some stairs on Wednesday night and sprain my right ankle quite badly, the upshot being that I was unable to put any weight on it yesterday, and am only just about able to limp on it this morning, so barring any miracle recovery I won't be able to play in the Rodbert Bros final on Sunday. Naturally I feel like a twat and am v. disappointed, but hopefully this gives you enough time to find a replacement (yourself or the Nurdler). Sorry about this, but hope you still murder the Wanderers... (Ed: normally a hopsital visit is required to feature in these pages, but obviously drunkeness takes precedence)
Injury 23: Whilst not quite up there with the vintage bruises shown earlier, the recipient did collect this after only facing two balls at 11, so we have waived the "have to go to Hospital to get your photo here" rule, plus if Damien Hirst had done it I am sure Charles Saatchi would have it hanging on his gallery wall. A delightful study of what happens when an ageing fastie gets a bit of his own.
Injury 24: Whilst not actually sustained during a game, the recipient informs us wishes he had had a bat in his hand when it happened. Nuff said
Injury 25: On our recent tour de France 2006.  As the owner of this beauty has a proper job (unlike most of the team) we won't identify him, but frankly only one person owns a shirt this horrid... time to buy an inner thigh pad methinks
Injury 26: The Whalers target our elderly opener: 2007. He is a minorinjurymagnet (TM)
Injury 27: The London Nigerians target our other elderly opener, 2007. He doesn't bruise as well as his elderly compatriot
Injury 28: The Nurdler Toe, courtesy Islip bowling 2008. Many of our injuries are sustained by the Nurdler who is a minorinjurymagnet. Photo courtesy of the SteveO's low tech phone
Injury 29: Our fasties foot on Tour to Ghent. Note similarity to Injury 19. Pronounced broken by Team medic (he was wrong). A good triple effort comprising extensive swelling, a nice bruise and a midge bite. An excellent all round performance
Injury 30: Our man from the Far East (that's Kent) sends us this Aug 2008 grotty mobile phone snap of his back leg incurred on duty for his "other team" . A fine bruise not at all ameliorated by the extensive layers of subcutaneous blubber. Too high to be LBW though. Probably.
Injury 31: Now here's a tale of woe. Bit short of players, so we roped in the neighbor (hasn't played since school). As the BBC were filming we did some inserts before the game started which consisted of bashing the ball around for the camera. One got bashed straight at said neighbor: Result: shattered fore finger with a bit of bone through the skin and NO game for the lad, just 2 hours in casualty. A Salix-worthy effort all round!
Injury 32: A fresh injury! As our respodent eloquently puts it "the one I took in the guts trying to pull their quick. " Incurred on a bouncy pitch v the Taveners 2009, the lack of circumferential flab narrows the recipient down a bit.. (well a lot actually)
Injury 33: One from on tour 2011. Cause unspecified and not hospital worthy of course, but theres a bit of colour and spread, so its just about web worthy.
Injury 34: Smutty took a massive skier cooly and calmly , we celebrated, then it was off to A&E for 6 stitches for ripped webbing. Bonus point for Swords having a comprehensive First Aid kit which was used to stem the claret. A great all round effort.

Injury 35: What do you know, Swords first aid kit in use second time in two weeks as Fawe Park Road player has fingernail removed by ball. Bonus claret points and double bonus for immediately resuming play. Top man

Injury 36:Top bruising provides a lasting tribute to the long hot summer and bouncy pitches of 2014 as Nice T wears a souvenir from the Gubbay CC game
Injury 37: a souvenir from the tour to Alicante (I got some rather nice place mats myself)
Injury 38: a souvenir from the 2015 Tour to Malvern courtesy our man who bruises nicely and who used to open but doesn't anymore
Injury 39: not an injury per se, but several of the lads got "egged" from a moving VW Golf on the 2015 Tour to Malvern whilst walking down towards Barnards Green at one in the morning. The car apparently went round twice and several direct hits were made.
Injury 40:Our elderly man who bruises easily copped this one on Tour in the South of France whilst dropping a catch in the slips or gully or something. A great effect on both the shin and the heel.
Injury 41: Early 2017, another of our elderly players (not the same one as injury 40 BTW) : 1st ball of his first game in the season. This a top effort especailly after spending a year in an orthopaedic boot.
Injury 42: Again early 2017, we present the classic scabby knee where it just all goes a bit manky
Injury 43: Now this one's a classic. Our Captain, playing for another team in June 2017 on a day off, sustained a mallet fracture during a catch, leading to an operation and the rest of the season stuck watching cricket on the box. we shouldn't make light of this one, it's nasty

 

2017 On a special note, it appears that unscrupulous websites have been nicking these photos and captioning them to show all sorts of nasty things, like abuse, medical conditions etc for clickbait we guess. Well, let us assert our original copyright in them for a start, and also confirm they have all been caused by a cricket ball, except where they haven't (generally beer)