1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths. More quotes here.


Profile: The Lockster

The Lockster is an original member of the team, but sadly we see to little of him these days what with fatherhood and living 100'so of miles away.  John "Legs" Lock has only ever bowled 3 Overs for the team, but they were killer Overs, if a touch expensive (a bit like his tax skills). 

As to batting, the Lockster  occasionally surprises.  His highest score for us is 24, but on the other hand he's rarely out for a duck.  As the stats show he is prone to being cleaned bowled, and maybe a touch suspicious in the run out department (maybe he played in many games with our champion, Mr Rodbert?).  In his long career, the Lockster has never retired!   But truly his finest moment came vs the Brutes of ""@## where one of their players hit a ball so high and so hard it first became snowcapped and then overheated on re-entry.  But the Lockster sauntered over, combed his hair, spread his legs and took it comfortably.  One of our greatest ever catches.

Name John Lock
Age Immaterial
Nicknames Legs Lock, The Lockster
Hairstyle David Essex going on Telly Savalas
Previous Clubs The Tufty Club,  I have played cricket at an International level, as well as football (this would make a bizarre trivia question).  I represented the British High Commission in Australia in both sports.
Skills womanising
Biggest Influence Drink
Most Memorable Moment On Field Drink removes my recollections
Most Memorable Moment Off Field Modesty removes my recollection
Person Most Admired Fletcher – an icon of cricket through sheer determination rather than skill or ability
Biggest fear in cricket A career threatening injury in the privates
Career , if you had not have been a Cricketer Playboy
Favourite Ground A beach in the Caribbean
Favourite Food Lager
Favourite Pet Sharleen Spiteri of Texas
Favourite Clothing I’m not a label person
Favourite Record Rodrigos - Concierto de Aranjuez

The Clash – Rock the Casbah

Favourite Comment On Pitch Not out
Britney Spears, Bilie Piper or Lassie.  discuss Probably Billie Piper
Anything you'd like to add A service charge of 20% to this

 

 

 


 

 

 

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