1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.

2006 Finals January 29.

A generous donation to the the cricketing charity The Primary Club (www.primaryclub.org ) was made by our benefactor.

Champs The Lemmings - left and the Whalers right
Wooden Spoon: Salix back, MWs front
Victory is ours sayeth the Lemmings! Eponymous Cup presenter gives Capn Woodsy the mini Magnum and high value electroplated trophy

6 pm saw the Cup Final get going (well 6.07 actually as half the Lemmings were late but the Whalers graciously agreed to the slight delay). The Whalers posted a creditable 89 runs for 4 with Dunc top scorer on 22 in the face of some excellent bowling. A swift turnaround saw the Lemmings come home to win with just 3 balls to spare but no lost wickets. A very exciting game and down to the wire.

A visiting Rodders presented the eponymous cup, accompanied by mercifully few words, to Woodsy, the Lemmings Captain who now hangs on to it until next time and will hopefully polish it and not use it in the manner previous incumbents may have done. Or not. Allegedly.

5pm saw the “Who's the crappest competition” get going under the stern eye of Umpire Nurdler. Captain Rogs boys performed their usual comedy collapse in 7 Overs to post a miserable 69 with Captain Rog again not troubling the scorers. In reply the MWs took a rather remarkably long 11 overs and 2 wickets to pass this pathetic total and trot out Plate holders.

High spot of the day: in the club after when Lars pointed us at this Internet link which has nothing to do with cricket at all but is solid gold (unlike the Cup).

5 down and 5 across. 2 countries separated only by a common language... http://www.electraisd.net/alumni/display_class.aspx?y=1993

League Placings

  Played W L Pts
Lemmings 3 2 1 2
M Ws 3 0 3 0
Salix 3 1 2 1
Whalers 3 3 0 3

Match Results

January 8

  runs wkts overs  
Whalers 122 2 12 won
Salix 115 5 12 lost
  runs wkts overs  
M Ws 75 6 9 lost
Lemmings 76 2 8 won

January 15

  runs wkts overs  
Whalers 101 6 10 won
MWs 53 6 8 lost
  runs wkts overs  
Salix 17 6 4 lost
Lemmings 18 0 2 won

Match report for Salix v Lemmings here

January 22

  runs wkts overs  
Lemmings 41 6 7 lost
Whalers 42 2 4 won
  runs wkts overs  
MWs 109 6 11 lost
Salix 111 2 10 won

The Lemmings executed a mini Salix style collapse here. And in the second game, the MWs florid Cap'n Lars became the tourney hi scorer hitting 44, beating Salix's CK1 and the Whalers Al, both of whom had got 36's on the first day of the tourney


Match report by Elvis Pornstar

Historically I think I've written some fairly magnificant match reports; rolling prose that captures the vibrancy, excitement and adventure that is a game of cricket played with the mighty Salix.  Such renditions require a match of some length, however, so I find it difficult to replicate these masterpieces when the entire team conspires to get themselves out for 18 runs inside two and half overs.  Put it down to feeble team group think or perhaps our hangovers or maybe even that Andy wasn't wearing his lucky box, but we were utterly abysmal.

To be fair to our opponents, Lemmings, they did take a couple of very good catches - The German was caught after a juggle off the wall and Christy went to a sharply taken diving catch.  Unfortunately the rest of us were out conspiring to do our best impression of the Benny Hill show - a mix of silly run-outs, dire shot play and complete lack of talent.  Lemmings knocked off the target required in fairly short order; we couldn't even pick up a solitary wicket along the way.  Apologies to them for not roviding a better game and I was particularly impressed on their ability to keep straight faces when confronted by such cricketing ineptitude.

There was a follow-up 8 over beer match to use up the rest of the hire time on the hall; we lost that as well, albeit with a reasonable performance in the field and an only slightly less pathetic one with the bat.  Not the most glorious of days in the annals of Salix and one of personal loss for me; with two losses in a row, Salix will not be competing in the final and the trophy that has served me well as an ash-try for the past year will now take residency in the homes of either the Whalers' or Lemmings' captains.  I hope it brings them as much joy as it has me.