1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


A game of two halves: Cricketers Pub, The Old Deer Park 8 May (Season: 1999)
Report by: Mr Guinnness, not heir to a brewery

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Irwin (Mr Sartorial) Sarif thinks of his nights alone on tou

It was definitely a game of two halves.

The half we batted in the rain, taking full advantage of the slippery ball in giving them catches to drop and generally getting bloody cold huddled up underneath the nearest tree. Then the half where we fielded in brighter warmer weather with the prospect of our first win of the season in front of us, shimmering somewhere above the swimming pool.

The pitch offered variable bounce mostly as a result of the permanent drizzle which meant that the first short pitched ball dug a neat divot from the strip which could then be used for a bit of surprising lift!

After the opening debacle of last week we put in Richard and Dodgy first and they set about their task admirably if a little steadily - they held out until the fifth over when Dodgy decided to take a big swing at a ball without really looking and saw his wicket hit firmly between middle and off with the score on 15. The batting continued to look steady as Robert started to take the game to them as he realised that the rain and the length of the outfield meant that you had to hit the ball hard and over the top to get to the boundary, however, this tactic was fine until he took his eye off the ball when he was on 15 and was bowled. 47 for 2.

Things then started to deteriorate - it became clear that Neil's comments before going in that he really needed to get an average after his 62* last week were not spoken in jest and after four overs he finally found a fielder who would hold on to a catch and spooned it to him for 5. It was now 59 for 3 and we were half way through the innings.

Unfortunately the next three batsmen showed their lack of match sharpness conceding their wickets for one run between them in the space of five overs. 72 for 6.

The momentum had not entirely passed to the opponents as Richard Winter was holding the other end with great concentration and skill which showed that he had been learning new shots over the close season and it was actually rumored that he had scored some runs in front of square!! Anyway with the arrival of his captain at the crease and with the captain's words that we needed to hurry things on a touch he decided that the time had come to accelerate. Therefore he knocked a tricky chance to the opposing captain and headed off for a run. Unfortunately Dominic was used to runs being taken when the ball is not hit to a fielder and at least some kind of a call being made. But I speak too soon.

Sure enough a call came once Richard was about ten yards down the pitch to run and Dominic set off to beat the fielder to the crease having given him a ten yard start. Regardless of the fact that it was the largest player on the pitch Dominic was beaten by a couple of yards and returned to the shelter of the tree with hardly a thought of changing Richard's 'spice' moniker to 'Bastard spice'. The captain left the field without facing a ball.

This escapade also appeared to leave Richard with some concerns about his future selection chances as from that moment he was outscored by of all people Fred and conceded his wicket to another of those big swings that had accounted for our first two batsmen. With three or four overs to go Andy Bush and Fred then chased and harried another thirty or so from the final overs to leave us on a score of 103 for 9 some twenty runs or so short of what the panel had considered a winning score.

We took the field as eleven players chilled by a traditional early season day, without even the benefit of a warm cup of tea which was waiting for us in the pub after the game. Once again the lack of match practice led to a few problems as both Andy and Robert started their opening overs with a short pitched ball which bounced roughly three yards in front of them and passed the batsmen around ankle height. The pitch had suffered somewhat from the first innings and the crease at both ends resembled and mud bath making in difficult to keep one's footing. Despite this Andy Bush showed more pace than anyone else in the game but unfortunately the field appeared to be positioned about five degrees off true as fours were knocked past fielders and missed on the boundary by inches rather than the yards of last week's game.

After eight overs Robert, bowling at the swimming pool end (undoubtedly the more difficult end - downhill and into the wind), was taken off after showing a disappointing tendency to slide the ball down the leg side. This was however after another poor fielding display with Dan missing a difficult chance and Irwin missing entirely a chance that went through his legs at some pace. Dan made his first appearance with the ball in over a season and he took it slowly and carefully. Another first ball bounced half way down the pitch but then his choice to bowl at varied lengths kept the batsmen on their toes, and he made the opening breakthrough as their most dangerous batsman took a swing at a shorter ball that popped up a bit and top-edged it to Richard behind the stumps.

The next over, Andy's last finally gave him a go at the other opener who had never looked comfortable facing Andy's pace. Sure enough two balls in Andy had bowled him and then Salix realised that they were still very much in the game. Andy's next ball clearly unnerved the new man as it leapt up past his chest from a good length. The ball after Richard was catching the leg stump, knocked clean from the ground.

Dan persevered at the other end and Andy was replaced by Neil Clark who bowled as one always asks - concentrate on line and length. And it paid dividends as he took the next three wickets, the first a catch by Alex at wide mid on, the second at cover by Nick and a sharp chance at point by Andy. In between these was one of the 'comedy' moments of the game as Neil palmed a chance off his own bowling to Dan who juggled it a couple of times before it went to ground. Dan was replaced by Nick who after an expensive first over found his line and length and bowled well until the end of Neil's spell taking a good caught and bowled. The captain took over from the river end with the team in the unfortunate position of being level on scores with the home sideneeding to get the winning single in six overs with three wickets in hand. In a display of controlled bowling he made them hold on until the final ball of the over before they sneaked the winning run past point. In conclusion we played reasonably well but needed to push the run rate on earlier.

The fielding was OK, the four chances put down (of varying difficulty) notwithstanding, in particular some good work on the midwicket boundary by Andy Bush.

I am loathe to mention Richard as the Salix MotM after running me out, but it is between him, Andy for a good all round performance and Neil for some very tight bowling. I would probably lean in favour of Andy Bush.


Salix CC versus Cricketers, Richmond at Old Deer Park on 08-05-1999(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting first)103for 8off31overs Match Lost
Cricketers, Richmond104for 7off25overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.David Dodwell-Bennett3Bowled
2.Richard Winter34Bowled
3.Robert Orr Ewing15Bowled
4.Neil Clark5Caught
5.Irwin Sarif1Bowled
6.Alex Putt0Bowled
7.Nick Lovering0Caught
8.Dominic Guinness0Run Out
9.Fred Maroudas14Not Out
10.Andy Bush9Not Out
11.Dan Jones0Did Not Bat
1.Andy Bush611628.0018.002.67
2.Robert Orr Ewing40280--7.00
3.Dan Jones5020120.0030.004.00
4.Neil Clark601033.3312.001.67
5.Nick Lovering3022122.0018.007.33
6.Dominic Guinness1010--1.00
Andy Bush2catches
Nick Lovering2catches
Alex Putt1catch
Richard Winter1catch
Dan Jones1drop
Irwin Sarif1drop

Neil Clark chats with Dan Jones as Dom picks his winners (no

Robert OE plays a straight bat

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YM left the following remarks on 13th September 2011

14 sept 2011. looking again at this match, the catches / drops were all wrong. Luckily we have the book and a detailed match report so I have been able to work out roughly what went on, all except 2 drops unaccounted for. I also worked out Mr Loverings first name, which had been a mystery for 12 years...