1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


 

Slog!!: New Beckenham Warriors 12 June (Season: 2005)
Report by: the Direcktor

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The Crime Scene: CSI Penge due Monday
After an interminable slog round the South Circ (the only slogging practice I was to get) we arrived at the luxurious HSBC Sports Ground (motto: the bank that likes to say that?ll cost you sir) and met our charming hosts, the newly constituted New Beckenham Warriors. Of Quicksliver, the match broker, there was no sign (well he was in Hamburg with a football team). In response to the end of the world location of Penge and its environs we were pleased to welcome three new players, all of whom looked promising ringers: Madhu had asked along Abhi and Shankar (yes that?s right folks all their missuses are all dentists ? so get flossing now) and SteveO, in absentia has asked along Ian, who whilst disclaiming his ringer status somewhat spoilt this by wearing an Indian Test Match shirt that had been worn in an actual test match.

The NBW are essentially a colts teams of 15-16 year olds (although in point of fact several of them had more luxurious facial hair than our very own Elvis AKA Ginger and yours truly ) plus a few older gents.

So the Salixites batted first and faced some excellent bowling and very adept fielding ? its long time since any of us lot ran round that much. Ringer Shankar mentioned he used to play for Madras University so that sent him up the order and the lads all played very well indeed with the German clocking funfzig and a bit. Point of interest: a NBW player broke his finger fielding but then came off and did the scoring. Bonus points for spunk as our American cousins say.

Anyhow at tea we had a good score, the weather darkened but the rain held off, the temperature plummeted and we scoffed the excellent date and walnut cake. And so to field. The NBW players performed very well against some excellent bowling (whoever coaches the batting needs a pat on the back, I have rarely seen such straight bats and consummate style - certainly an alien concept within Salix). However, they were never really on the run rate and gradually wickets fell. For a while it looked like the curse of the Salixite neophyte has struck again with Shankar dropping a sharp one in the slips and Ian running flat out to drop a diving one, bit then Ian came on to bowl. With four balls of the game left the lads in the pavilion helpfully informed their guy at bat that he was on 47 ? so no pressure then, and he promptly played over a full toss from Ian. Tough. And then the next guy came in and gloved a lifter from Ian that shot vertically in the air and landed right on top of the stumps. Now that?s bad luck.

And so back to the slow slog of the South Circular: a finer bunch of lads playing cricket it would be hard to find and frankly, if we have to go back when they are all 18 and the Nurdler and I have passed 100, I?m going to chuck a sickie

Salix CC versus New Beckenham Warriors at HSBC New Beckenham on 12-06-2005(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)192for 7off35overs Match Won
New Beckenham Warriors134for 6off35overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dominic Spillane15Caught
2.Shankar Rajagobalan30Bowled
3.Ian Roberts20Bowled
4.Andy Rayner52Bowled
5.Mark Amselem4LBW
6.Abhinav Singh15Caught
7.Stuart Lumsden10Caught
8.Roger Heaton7Not Out
9.Mike Ellis7Not Out
10.Madhu Chaganti0Did Not Bat
11.Tony Fletcher0Did Not Bat
Extras32
Total192
No.PlayerOversMaidensRunsWicketsAveSREcon
1.Roger Heaton7123123.0042.003.29
2.Stuart Lumsden7123123.0042.003.29
3.Madhu Chaganti61220--3.67
4.Mike Ellis5110110.0030.002.00
5.Abhinav Singh5019119.0030.003.80
6.Andy Rayner30150--5.00
7.Ian Roberts20623.006.003.00
Andy Rayner1catch
Tony Fletcher1drop
Shankar Rajagobalan1drop
Ian Roberts1drop

The Dentist's Husbands show us their pearlies

Yes, it's a real test shirt


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