1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


A ginger Captain: Presidents XI Haydons Road 20 Aug 2005 (Season: 2005)
Report by: Captain Elvis

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Truth be told, I don't know very much about cricket; it was only in 1998 that I found out that a fine leg wasn't a "backstop" and my knowledge of the LBW rule remains scratchy at best, as my flatmate will testify following his dismissal against the Whalers earlier in the season. Of course he could have removed all ambiguity around the decision if he'd just hit the ball instead of using his legs - but I'll guess we'll never know. Anyway, I digress, mostly because it's more interesting than actually writing the match report; I remain an ego maniac, so despite the paucity of my cricketing brain, I was only too happy to accept the role of captain for Saturday's match against the President's XI.

Following the usual loss of the toss we were put into the field and it all went bulbous shaped from there; President's openers got away to a bit of a flier and they'd put on 72 before we took the first wicket. There was a little misfortune along the way - a number of skied balls could have gone anywhere and we were just unlucky that they didn't go to any of our players. A more objective commentator on proceedings might suggest that this was due to poor field placings, but I retain complete bias and it was definitely down to a lack of alignment in the stars.

Whatever, kudos to Ian for chasing down a couple of opportunities that 95% of Salix players wouldn't have got anywhere near, although it doesn't stop him notching another one up in the dropped catch table. He bowled pretty well on Saturday, as did Wazza who was unlucky not to pick up more wickets. New boy Mark bounced back from a scratchy first over and was also unfortunate not to get more reward for his efforts. I chipped in with a couple wickets courtesy of a couple of good boundary catches from the Bison and Wazza, the former making up for his failure to even get a hand to what he described as a red rocket and the rest of team described a sugar coated dolly with a sign on it saying "catch me please, I've been a bad ball".

Set a target of 207, I had a sneaky suspicion we might just carry it off. Apparently my incipient soothsaying career should be put on hold because we got royally humped. After a steady start Bison went LBW and despite a quicky flurry of boundaries, was joined quickly afterwards by Ian after he looped one to mid-on. The Fumbler didn't trouble the scorers and it was left to Mark and CK1 to steady the ship. They made a decent fist of it, the latter presumably feeling fresh after he'd missed the first half the game following a cerebral malfunction that enabled him to confuse Saturday with Sunday. Easily done. Puff. Eventually the partnership was broken when CK1 narrowly failed to make his ground scrambling back for a second run. A couple of cameos from myself, Wazza and Quicksilva were never going to be enough and it was soon all over when Steve nicked the strike off The Director and was out next ball.

Man of the match to new boy Mark for scoring 45 without moving his feet and for recovering well in his bowling. Pretty handy in the field as well. Special mention to soon to be ex Capn Ben, who had a cracker behind the stumps. Finally, thanks to President's who were fun to play against and who put on a good tea as per usual

Salix CC versus Presidents at Haydons Road on 20-08-2005(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)164all outoff31overs Match Lost
Presidents206for 7off35overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Mark Dyson7LBW
2.Ben Shaw14Caught
3.Ian Roberts14Caught
4.Matt Swindells0Caught
5.Mark Rickman45Caught
6.Christy Kulasingam26Run Out
7.Warrick Cumming13Bowled
8.Jehan DeSilva6Caught
9.Mike Ellis16Bowled
10.Tony Fletcher0Not Out
11.Steve Jacobs0Caught
1.Steve Jacobs50470--9.40
2.Warrick Cumming7024212.0021.003.43
3.Ian Roberts7029214.5021.004.14
4.Mike Ellis7131215.5021.004.43
5.Mark Rickman40280--7.00
6.Jehan DeSilva40240--6.00
7.Tony Fletcher10160--16.00
Mike Ellis3catches
Warrick Cumming1catch
Mark Dyson1catch
Ben Shaw1catch
Warrick Cumming1drop
Mark Dyson1drop
Steve Jacobs1drop
Ian Roberts1drop

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