1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


A day to forget: Lemmings 6 August 2006 (Season: 2006)
Report by: the Direktor, Now the owner of a Decent Thesaurus

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A hot and muggy day as the lads assembled to face the might of the young, fit Lemmings. As per usual Captain the German did a Hussain and lost the toss thus forcing us out into the field. Things opened well as SteveO got two quick ones ? clean bowled and a spiffing slip catch by our most ancient player. CK1 laboured mightily and meanly but to no avail. And this is the point where, last week having used all the metaphors for woeful, I am forced to search for a new adjective. Well two actually, a woeful-alike for our second string bowling and a woeful-extra for the batting. (*) So anyhow our bowlers were Unfortunate, if not a touch Grim as Woodsy the Lemmings opener hit 119 and saw the Lemmings into tea on 224. Not an undoable target and certainly less than the 325 for two they knocked of us last year.

But then as our openers slumped to 4 for 29 our ?64 all out collapse? against the London Nigerians in 2002 record looked in danger of falling. However sinews were stiffened and belts a-tightened (insert simile here) by the arrival at the crease of Chopper and the Direktor who hit a 50 run partnership in 8 overs to steer us to 93 all out and home for an early bath.

As ever, charming opponents who frankly deserved slightly more than the (insert any word from last para here) batting display. Still we live to fight another day and leaving me plenty of time to pop into the all night Chemist and refresh the teams supply of Nuofen.

Rogets Thesuarus offers..: (I?ll save a few for next weeks game) afflicted, agonized, anguished, appalling, awful, bad, calamitous, catastrophic, cruel, deplorable, disappointing, disastrous, disconsolate, disgraceful, distressing, doleful, dreadful, feeble, gloomy, grieving, grievous, grim, heartbreaking, heartrending, heartsick, hopeless, inadequate, lamentable, lousy*, mean, miserable, mournful, paltry, pathetic, piteous, pitiable, pitiful, plaintive, poor, racked, rotten, shocking, sorrowful, sorry, terrible, tortured, tragic, unfortunate, unhappy, wretched

Salix CC versus Lemmings at Glaxo on 06-08-2006(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)92all outoff30overs Match Lost
Lemmings234for 4off36overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dominic Spillane14LBW
2.Ben Shaw0Caught
3.Andy Rayner6Bowled
4.Andrew Harvey0Bowled
5.Christy Kulasingam12LBW
6.Stuart Lumsden6Caught
7.Tony Fletcher19Caught
8.Mark Rickman23Bowled
9.Richard Kluth0Bowled
10.Rajeev Sanwalka0Not Out
11.Steve Jacobs0Caught
1.Steve Jacobs7229214.5021.004.14
2.Christy Kulasingam71230--3.29
3.Stuart Lumsden70570--8.14
4.Mark Rickman30180--6.00
5.Tony Fletcher4035135.0024.008.75
6.Andy Rayner4031131.0024.007.75
7.Rajeev Sanwalka40250--6.25
Tony Fletcher1catch
Stuart Lumsden1catch
Richard Kluth1drop
Ben Shaw1drop

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