1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


A minefield pitch in overcast conditions: The Presidents XI 19 August 2006 (Season: 2006)
Report by: Captain the Duckmeister with an intro by the Direktor

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Supporter of the Year 2006 shows us how to bat
As I motorcycled through the urban wasteland that is the Borough of Merton, with the heavy rain drenching my pristine Whites, I thought, "We're screwed weatherwise ". And with Captain the Germans words "It's time I had a decent knock" ringing in my ears, I thought this might be tempting fate even further. But whilst the lads sheltered in the boozer I won the toss, put us into bat (as per orders) and went out to umpire. Maybe those storm clouds were not so threatening? But then I watched Chopper face two and not trouble the scorer and then our Captain, watched, for the first time by Mrs The German, gloved a lifter to the keeper for a golden. As I lit up a Marlboro Light at square leg I thought, well someone else can write the match report, I'm off for a sit down, it's all looking a bit bleak. Well, how wrong was I? Over to the Man himself.who writes...

It is an article of faith amongst the cognoscenti that there is only one correct decision if you win the toss on a minefield pitch in overcast conditions shortly after a rainstorm . So we had a bat. The decision was richly justified as between us we managed the holy grail of golden, silver and bronze ducks, with yours truly, Puff and Chopper sharing the honours. At 20 odd for 4 it would have been possible to lose heart, as bowling that would have been merely very good indeed on another day turned into something more like Steve Harmison at Sabina Park.

But this is Salix and the fearless Ginger strode to the crease, smacked 24 off about four balls and then nobly holed out to a rank long hop in order to let some other people experience the conditions. Fletch hung around for a bit and with Elvis clinging to his wicket like a willow limpet we gradually eked it up towards the 100 mark, which afterwards certain of us would claim we always knew to be a defendable total. Tinker capped off the innings in the usual inimitable way, upper-cutting the returning opener for a one bounce four and then holing out at orthodox mid-off with a shot that, if angled 15 degrees lower, would have made it most of the way to centre court.

Naturally during the tea interval the sun came out and started to dry out the pitch, exactly as planned. The opening batsmen came out fighting, filled with either unnatural confidence in the balmier conditions or a realisation that every shot could be their last, and rapidly knocked off half of the total for the loss of a couple of wickets at about twice the required rate. But wickets were always going to be the key - Ginge taking time out from bowling to run out the dangerman by a whisker and taking time out from fielding to knock the other bloke over for good measure. Curtley Padmore got in on the action with some high quality line and length, a fruitless first couple of overs giving way to some deserved rewards, meanwhile Ginge was only just missing out on his second hat-trick of the season at the other end.

A great fielding performance with some memorable moments: Chopper picking an uppish drive off his bootlaces to take out one of their strong top-order batters, CK1 dropping the sitter of the year at mid-off as if to confirm the earlier impression that he was seeing multiple instances of all objects, Ben standing up to Ginge and Elvis on an x-rated strip, and Elvis himself chucking a slower one above the eyeline to have the number 11 comprehensively stumped for the victory. But Ginge was the man of the hour and deserved everything he got, including the parking fine after the match when I assumed it must be after 7 because the cricket had finished and told him and Elvis to park in a bay on Garratt Lane. Sorry chaps.

A real nail-biter that was a heap of fun to play in and watch (as later confirmed by Mrs The German, who rates Cricket about as much as bog-cleaning) and a nice way to end the regular season for me. Bring on Captains Day... Historical note: the Presidents are our longest standing oppos, this was our 11th consecutive game versus them and the current stat is played 11, won 7 lost 4.

Salix CC versus Presidents at Haydons Road on 19-08-2006(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)105all outoff32overs Match Won
Presidents87all outoff21.2overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Mark Rickman0Bowled
2.Dave Henig2Caught
3.Andy Rayner0Caught
4.Ben Shaw9Bowled
5.David Padmore8Caught
6.Stuart Lumsden24Caught
7.Andrew Harvey0Caught
8.Christy Kulasingam10Run Out
9.Mike Ellis19Not Out
10.Tony Fletcher7Run Out
11.Graham Nannery7Caught
1.Christy Kulasingam50300--6.00
2.Stuart Lumsden701644.0010.502.29
3.David Padmore601234.0012.002.00
4.Mike Ellis3.201226.0010.003.60
Andrew Harvey1catch
Andy Rayner1catch
Mark Rickman1catch
Ben Shaw1catch
Christy Kulasingam1drop

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