1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


Tighter than a [insert your own similie here]: Quokkas 17 June 2007 (Season: 2007)
Report by: The Nurdler

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RedRog, redder than a Red tart

They say lightening doesn’t strike twice in the same place but last year’s tight finish was repeated this year with Salix again going down by 1 wicket.

Other than the outcome, the game was completely different with Salix batting first. I’m using the term batting here very loosely as we pretty much stunk. Honourable exceptions were Puff and Rog who doubled the score in the only stand of note. Rog reached the giddy heights of 28* - very likely his best for the club. We can also excuse the Hoguester who was run out having only face one (beamer) when his partner slipped on taking off for a run. For the rest, it was dire and we reached 127 only by the generosity of the opposition who shelled enough to keep Birdseye going for a year.

So to tea and the fluorescent Danish pastries featured in the photo. We’ve fielded pretty well this year but it looked a pretty tall order on a pitch that was slow but not doing a huge amount. CK1 and Ginger opened up and bowled a batsman apiece. Rog chipped in with the wicket of the number 4 and when Cap’n Elvis bowled their adhesive opener they were four down with a fair way to go. Unfortunately at this point one of their guys decided to go for it and hit a meaty selection of fours and sixes (one leg-side pickup for six was the sweetest shot I’ve seen at Glaxo) and it looked all over until the golden–armed Kiwi was introduced into the attack and chipped in with three quick wickets including the big-hitting batsmen. Cap’n Elvis nipped out one more and for the second time in the match, a batsman slipped in mid-pitch causing an easy runout leaving 3 runs to win and one wicket standing. Despite a testing over from the recalled Ginger, their last man held out and they made it over the line. Another great match with some great opponents, surely next time it’s our turn!

This only leaves the matter of the dropped catch. I’ve saved this for last as it was in many ways the highlight of the day. Absent Salicians will be astonished to learn that this was not another dolly dropped by a careless fielder but a brush of the fingertips of Herr Direktor in full flight. For those of us who were there, the sight of Fletch leaping salmon-like high to his right at first slip will stay long in the mind. For any seismologists reading this, you now know why there was a spike on the readings about 5.30 BST yesterday.

Ed Note: subsequent to Captain Elvis's comments I have amended his wickets down to to 2. I have also awarded myself a pound on account of I spent 5 times that on embrocation after my diving effort

PPS: Those of you who notice the resemblance of the photo to 3/4 of an Abba Tribute Band must wonder where Anna-Frida is these days?

Salix CC versus Quokkas at Glaxo on 17-06-2007(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting first)125all outoff31overs Match Lost
Quokkas131for 9off28overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dominic Spillane2Bowled
2.Tony Fletcher6Caught
3.Christy Kulasingam19Caught
4.Stuart Lumsden3LBW
5.Andy Rayner7Bowled
6.Barrett Hogue1Run Out
7.Roger Heaton28Not Out
8.Will Venning0Bowled
9.Andrew Harvey18Bowled
10.Mike Ellis3Caught
11.Darren Gavigan0Caught
1.Christy Kulasingam7226126.0042.003.71
2.Stuart Lumsden6313113.0036.002.17
3.Roger Heaton5117117.0030.003.40
4.Mike Ellis6029214.5018.004.83
5.Andrew Harvey402739.008.006.75
Andrew Harvey1catch
Stuart Lumsden1catch
Tony Fletcher1drop

Mrs Baldrick lays a fragrant palm on Puff and the Hoguester

Comments, if any, are shown below: Click here to add your own comment

Mr Scorer left the following remarks on 4th July 2007

Dear Steve-O you were right. There were a couple of small typos and the score book shows a 6 off the last Quokka ball. looks about ok now I trust. Memo to self: wear specs more often

Steve-O left the following remarks on 3rd July 2007

The score card doesn't even nearly add up to the score quoted in the match report that the opposition were clearly chasing... what's that all about?!

Elvis left the following remarks on 19th June 2007

Actually, I think I only got 2 wickets - you're crediting me with the run-out. Great display in the field and some really tight bowling at times, although there was just a few too many looseners that were easily thumped. I was especially guilty of this. However, I think it's the batting where we really let ourselves down. Not feeling particularly creative this week, so I'll just fine myself £1 because we lost.

Mr 50 left the following remarks on 18th June 2007

The Quokkas have by far the best nicknames of any team we play. The score book records "The Hairdresser" getting a duck, "Fatman" getting the top score and the misnamed "The Knock" serving up a dolly to the Ginger Express. Well, see for yourself . We must do better boys!