1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


Limp as a limp lettuce: Lemmings 5 Aug 2007 (Season: 2007)
Report by: Jonty Rhodes

Match Report: Click here to add your own comment  |  See all comments

My Call! Your Call! Whoops
The hottest day since April, apparently, and the first day all summer that the sun shone, as we covered ourselves with the opposite of glory. For a full match report basically read last weeks, but in reverse. The Lemmings batted first, and did well. We had tea (donuts this week) and then collapsed like a limp lettuce.

There were no real highlights, only lowlights although its mixed light that I can still see the imprint of the seam in my hand from the catch I took at mid off. And I am sad to have to record a drop to CK1 as he parried away a C and B that would have removed most of his face. But that's the Lurpak rules.

In fact our innings was so torpid that our 9 year scorer gave up in disgust as he got fed up with doing dots. Anyhow, the real event of interest: the Bison:Rog run out. As I recall the Bison tickled one behind (so Rog's call). But Bison felt there was run and called so and set off. At about half way it became apparent that the Rogman was not budging as he called a belated 'No'. Thus ensued a reasonably brisk and frank discussion as the stranded Bison was run out. The discussion resumed post match as our photo shows. Other highlights: 'How the aged bruise' as our second most aged players showed last weeks souvenir from the Whalers game (photo held back in the interests of taste)

In fact this game completed a weird triangle of games: Whalers beat Lemmings, Salix beat Whalers, Lemmings beat Salix. Ah., sweet complexity of life.

Next week, the Nigerians. That'll be straightforward then.

Salix CC versus Lemmings at Glaxo on 05-08-2007(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)101all outoff35overs Match Lost
Lemmings201for 8off35overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dominic Spillane1Bowled
2.Tony Fletcher8Caught
3.Ben Shaw0Bowled
4.Mark Dyson27Run Out
5.Christy Kulasingam11Bowled
6.Stuart Lumsden9Caught & Bowled
7.Charlie Hewitt8LBW
8.Richard Kluth0Bowled
9.Tim Collins0Caught
10.Roger Heaton20Not Out
11.Steve Jacobs0Caught & Bowled
1.Steve Jacobs7045222.5021.006.43
2.Stuart Lumsden70290--4.14
3.Christy Kulasingam70190--2.71
4.Roger Heaton7042221.0021.006.00
5.Charlie Hewitt5035311.6710.007.00
6.Tony Fletcher2026126.0012.0013.00
Ben Shaw4catches
Tony Fletcher1catch
Roger Heaton1drop
Christy Kulasingam1drop
Dominic Spillane1drop

Comments, if any, are shown below: Click here to add your own comment

Capn Elvis left the following remarks on 7th August 2007

I was wondering who to fine this week (other than the the whole team for their batting), but it looks like the comments have sorted it out for me - Bison a £1 for running himself out, Rog a £1 for whinging about the whinging about the run out and Ben a £1 for thinking that this week's oppo were last week's oppo.

Editors Note left the following remarks on 6th August 2007

Cap'n Ben: The Whalers are indeed a sporting bunch as are the Lemmings, who we were actually playing this week. But they do not have a bowler who does the inswinging Yorker......

I have however added the drop as requested.

Lord Lichfield left the following remarks on 6th August 2007

The elderly take time to recover as our photo shows:

Cap'n Ben left the following remarks on 6th August 2007

I want to thank the Lemmings for being a sporting bunch. They walked on 3 of my 4 catches when really only the snickometer or the hot spot camera would have been in a position to give the batsmen out. At that part of the game I don't think they really knew how bad we would bat! Speaking of catches - I feel we need to add Dominic to the list of dropped catches. While it was a hard chance, the ball did bounce on his foot and it was the Lemmings Capt (Simon) who went on to score 49. I normally preach "catches win matches" - which is true, but in this instance it was our dire batting which lost us the game. We did not field that badly and 201 is a reasonable score at Glaxo. Bring on the London Nigerians!

Steve-O left the following remarks on 6th August 2007

Just in case Cameron comes to look at the website I feel obliged to point out that he is 10 otherwise he will be very aggrieved... but yes he did give up the score book on the premise that our slow scoring rate was sapping him of the will to live!

Nurdler left the following remarks on 6th August 2007

I'd have to agree with Mr Myring on the runout. I was the square leg umpire at the time and the ball was played straight to the short fine leg fielder. Rog's call and "NO" the only option. On a more serious note, when I exposed my upper thigh to the camera, it was in the interests of art etc... and assurances of an unprecedented second appearance on the injuries website. Now I find my photo is just part of Herr Direktor's private collection. What is going on here? I think we should be told.

Inzamam-ul-Haq left the following remarks on 6th August 2007

"belated NO" indeed. The call was timely, clear, and correct. And most importantly mine. So there