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No longer a nemesis: vs Whalers 27 Jul 2008 (Season: 2008)
Report by: elderly man who did nothing all game

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Our highest scorer!
Until recently a nemesis team for us, the Whalers have been showing the odd sign of fallibility when faced with Salix. And on a red hot day this trend continued. Winning the toss Whalers Captain Dan forced VCGC and his band of lads into the searing heat of a blistering Greenford afternoon. Some mean bowling to start with saw the Whalers pretty slow off the mark but the pace accelerated until they had hit 80 something for 2. However, cometh the hour cometh the men, and Puff, in particular (and Les a little bit) then trundled in to serve up some awful rubbish bowling, specialising in balls marked with large neon signs saying “Dear Batsman, please get yourself out”. Which of course they did (three played ons no less). This precipitated a serious middle order collapse, enlivened only by a decent last wicket stand. It also caused Jesus to start pontificating that his own personal bowling was “too good to hit, that’s why I don’t get any wickets.” This sense of personal grievance was to hit the heights later, but we’ll come to that.

After a tea of a standard that I am pretty sure the rodents currently infesting my back garden would turn a bit sniffy at, it was back out to face the Whalers 8 man pace attack. And so the Nurdler nurdled and Bison, looking more like Ray Mears than ever, and sporting his batting Panama, got us of to a decent start. All the way along the match seemed very poised. In fact when the K-Mans young lady asked mid innings how it was going we couldn’t really say. However when Bison departed to be replaced by Chopper who in turn was rapidly dispatched back to the cheap seats in a veritable orgy of non-concentration it was President ex Captain Ben who developed a sustained knock and brought us home with an over to spare. Of the batting, two factors must be mentioned. 47 extras, easily top scorer. – 19 wides, 18 byes, 5 no balls and a few leg byes, we were really only missing penalty runs here, and of course Jesus’s LBW. According to my Timex, Chopper agonized over this one for at least 90 seconds before pointing the digit at the disbelieving Jesus. On the one hand you’d have thought the J-Man might have been a bit appreciative as it was well known that he had to leave early to get to some kind of function involving roast meat in Stoke Newington. On the other hand it didn’t seem quite so clear cut judging by his walk back to the pavilion. I mean, Chopper is a man who you’d trust to whip your spleen out whilst steering clear of your carotid and simultaneously banking a large cheque. So we are left with the moral that every tale has two sides.

And so VCGC took his happy band bar-wise and we gathered out strength for the two up-coming games – Lemmings and Nigerians. Now that’s a proper nemesis! Big up to the Whalers though, this was an almost perfect afternoon of cricket between two very friendly sides and we wish them the best of luck in Kenya.

Salix CC versus Whalers at Glaxo on 27-07-2008(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)147for 5off35overs Match Won
Whalers146all outoff34.1overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dominic Spillane24Bowled
2.Mark Dyson20Bowled
3.Mark Rickman2Bowled
4.Ben Shaw43Not Out
5.Alastair Davidson1LBW
6.Dave Henig2Bowled
7.Christy Kulasingam8Not Out
8.Stuart Lumsden0Did Not Bat
9.Andrew Harvey0Did Not Bat
10.Kunal Dutta0Did Not Bat
11.Tony Fletcher0Did Not Bat
1.Alastair Davidson6.12919.0037.001.46
2.Christy Kulasingam7135135.0042.005.00
3.Andrew Harvey7047315.6714.006.71
4.Stuart Lumsden731728.5021.002.43
5.Kunal Dutta702839.3314.004.00
Alastair Davidson1catch
Dave Henig1catch
Mark Rickman1catch
Ben Shaw1catch

Comments, if any, are shown below: Click here to add your own comment

Baldrick left the following remarks on 31st July 2008

A foreigners view on English sport http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0jPaTmWF5I Doesn't seem to involve being spanked by a swedish teenager though

VCGC left the following remarks on 28th July 2008

A good fielding performance after last week's catching debacle. KD bowled well with only one short one in seven overs. Good batting partnerships all through: Ray and Dom, Dom and Ben, and Ben and Dave.

Henry Blofeld left the following remarks on 28th July 2008

Dear Salix CC, I wasn't there lads but I'm sure that would have been a superb game. I'm glad to see that young Alistair Davidson has made a full recovery, and that Tony Fletcher and Ben Shaw were playing. And congratulations to young Kunal Dutta and Andrew Harvey for taking 3 wickets each and for extras and Ben Shaw for getting more than forty each. I shall hope to see you before Monday next week, and I which you all good fortune in your upcoming games. Yours sincerely, Henry Blofeld