1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


Club Ellis: An Elite Establishment for Discerning Gentlemen: LanghamXI 1 June 2003 (Season: 2003)
Report by: The President of Club Ellis, Mr Ellis

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Club Ellis: President for Life
I knew we were going to lose as soon as I arrived to find Alcoholic Bush smiling and sober. Then the opposition turned up and looked suspiciously like they knew what they were doing and I thought we'd get thumped. Not quite and we might have won it if we'd held our catches during the first innings. I failed to hold a particularly vicious slip chance that edged slowly straight at me off Steve and Andy Rayner dropped a couple of absolute sitters on the boundary off my awesome, nay legendary, bowling - whinging about the ball being wet and slippery or some such nonsense. Northern monkey.

Paul Rogers maintained that I'd dropped four, but given his fashion sense whilst umpiring later on, it's apparent he's only partially sighted at best anyway. Pick of the bowling was Andy B, unlucky not to get any wickets but conceding only 7 off 7. The Gay German picked up 2, as did Fletch and Steve. 149 to get; on a slow, wet, outfield and with a lack of talent, it was always going to be tight.

It started well with Paul Mason looking assured at the crease and assuredly skying a cover drive straight into the welcoming arms of the Salix substitute fielder, who shall remain nameless, but suffice to say is VERY good looking. Andy R followed shortly, out to a genuine gem of a ball, which nipped back, from their rather quick opening bowler.

Paul Rogers came and went before Clarkster and Dominic settled in for a fine 50 partnership; but once that was broken it was always looking pear shaped. Andy Bush deserved more than the outfield let him have, Olly was run out by his lack of spikes and the rest fell tamely to an opposition who didn't really have any weak bowling. Nice bunch of guys as well. Bit like us really, but with skills, an appitude for the game of cricket and less players of pensionable age.

Man of the match, Clarkster, for a fair all round display. Buffoon of the match, me, for asking to go in the slips. Applications to join Club Ellis for the Catching Handicapped (ironically, CECH) are now being considered. You'll all be members by the end of the season. You know it.

Salix CC versus Langham XI at Glaxo on 01-06-2003(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)137for 9off35overs Match Lost
Langham XI148for 8off35overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Paul Mason2Caught
2.Dominic Spillane33Caught
3.Andy Rayner0Bowled
4.Paul Rogers14Caught
5.Neil Clark28Bowled
6.Andy Bush12Bowled
7.Ollie Carter4Run Out
8.Ben Shaw9Bowled
9.Mike Ellis5Bowled
10.Tony Fletcher0Not Out
11.Steve Jacobs1Not Out
1.Steve Jacobs7130215.0021.004.29
2.Andy Bush7270--1.00
3.Andy Rayner3022211.009.007.33
4.Mike Ellis7026126.0042.003.71
5.Tony Fletcher7042221.0021.006.00
6.Neil Clark4014114.0024.003.50
Neil Clark1catch
Andy Rayner1catch
Ben Shaw1catch
Mike Ellis2drops
Andy Rayner2drops
Ben Shaw1drop

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