1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


Something that describes humiliation..: vs Balham Roamers 31 Jul 2011 (Season: 2011)
Report by: Elvis

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Some joke about Bell end to reference the Test Match
Salix's history against Balham Roamers has been one of extreme highs and lows; a crushing defeat one year followed by an easy win the following, usually in turn. Having lost in style last year, we might have hoped to follow the formula and rebound this year on a sunny day at Battersea Park. Unfortunately not. Salix were the worst that we can be: players turning up late, misfields, over throws, dropped catches, erratic bowling and batting which, whilst unlucky in places, lacked concentration. This isn't to detract from Roamers' performance, who dispatched our numerous bad balls with alacrity, bowled tightly and fielded superbly.

Maybe it was the blond in the barely covering bikini bending over her boyfriend on the boundary, but Salix's fielding performance appeared distracted throughout. The tone was set with four overthrows off the very first ball and then Karan and Steve-O both dropped relatively straight-forward chances to dismiss one of their openers, the Roamers' Captain; such profligacy proved exceptionally costly as he moved on to a well taken century. The other opener reached fifty himself and it wasn't until the score was 118 that Bad-Mo finally dismissed him LBW to get our account underway. Bad-Mo picked up another wicket courtesy of a well taken catch by Wee-Man at deep mid-off and I picked up a couple of wickets, including the centurion clean bowled, before Roamers' showed their strength in depth and ramped up the scoreboard again on a fast outfield. The return of the Wee-Man into the bowling attack stemmed the flow of runs as he picked up a couple of deserved wickets and CK1 rounded things off to ensure the target remained under 300, which had looked unlikely for most of Roamers' innings.

That said, 282 is a still a formidable score and after a sumptuous tea we set about failing to get anywhere near it. Daveski was cleaned up early on and I followed soon after, clean bowled playing a defensive stroke to a ball that shot on. Wee-Man looked in good touch but couldn't get the ball away to the boundary; Roamers' field placing was better than ours had been and they played the ground more intelligently than we had done. At the other end CK1 and Karan went to outstanding catches and Bad-Mo didn't last long either. Khushla offered some resistance to get us past the magical lowest score of 58, before he too was caught and Cameron was last man out to a nifty low catch by the Roamers' Captain.

Thanks to Roamers' for being excellent hosts and being exceptionally gracious in victory, even buying us a consolation jug in the Prince Albert after the game; however, as Yesterday's Man remarked upon receiving the scorebook, it was certainly a day to forget.

Salix CC versus Balham Roamers at Battersea Park on 31-07-2011(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)86all outoff18overs Match Lost
Balham Roamers281for 8off40overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dave Henig9Bowled
2.Mike Ellis11Bowled
3.Nat Young8Caught
4.Christy Kulasingam0Caught
5.Karan Ghuwalewala9Caught
6.Angad Ajgaonkar0LBW
7.David Padmore4Caught
8.Khusla Ghuwalewala24Caught
9.Dominic Spillane1Caught
10.Cameron Jacobs0Caught
11.Steve Jacobs0Not Out
1.Steve Jacobs80600--7.50
2.Christy Kulasingam8040220.0024.005.00
3.Karan Ghuwalewala31100--3.33
4.Khusla Ghuwalewala20320--16.00
5.Nat Young8138219.0024.004.75
6.David Padmore5029214.5015.005.80
7.Mike Ellis4032216.0012.008.00
8.Angad Ajgaonkar20190--9.50
Angad Ajgaonkar1catch
Nat Young1catch
Karan Ghuwalewala2drops
Mike Ellis1drop
Steve Jacobs1drop

Comments, if any, are shown below: Click here to add your own comment

YM left the following remarks on 1st August 2011

Your wish is the unemployed mans command. Done

The Author left the following remarks on 1st August 2011

You're right Steve, Nat took two wickets. Angad didn't take any, but it doesn't say that it does. YM - can you correct re Nat and update the match report to say "a couple of deserved wickets". Ta.

YM left the following remarks on 1st August 2011

Its not the book that's wrong, I should have gone to SpecSavers. Fixed now.

Steve-O left the following remarks on 1st August 2011

Did Angad take 2 wickets? Did Wee-Man only get 1? Me thinks the book is wrong