1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.: vs Quokkas 05 Jun 2016 (Season: 2016)
Report by: The Rusty Barron

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The worlds worst trophy
In 1862 General Ambrose Burnside (the man who gave his names to sideburns) saw his mighty Union army defeated at the battle of Fredericksburg when he had felt victory was certain. Against Quokkas, VC Tuffers probably had an insight into how that felt. And it had all started so well...

With the regular Captain rotated the reigns were handed to VC Tuffers who won the toss and, in disregard to usual practice, put the opposition in to bat. The acting-captain's words of wisdom (no pressure guys, this goes on CK's record) did the trick, as the home side put on a memorable display, on a track that offered the bowlers little. Fine bowling put the visitors under real pressure with Puff Daddy, Azfar & VCGC turning the screws early and Tuffers, Michael Flatley and Padders close behind, to ensure there was no let-up. Discipline with the ball was matched with good work in the field; balls were run down well and some truly exceptional catching, Puff Daddy claiming his was "the best catch I've ever made" (it just might have been). With so many wickets tumbling, our tired bowlers refused to stop throwing them down, despite the presence of an antipodean relief bowler with a hungry look in his eye. As Salix got amongst the tail only a drop from VCGC ("my limbs don't seem to work") marred an almost perfect display. With the visitors done in 26 overs for only 127 the half-time apple juice tasted sweet.

In reply Salix made a strong start. The Rusty Barron, still adapting to his new opening spot, went for a duck, but Dozy & Padders moved serenely along, aided by a fair number of wides, to allow Salix to reach 50-1 with 20 overs in hand. Even Dozy trudging back to the hutch didn't unduly worry those team members watching from the sidelines, as a very well-refreshed Nelson replaced him. In the pub by 5pm was the view.

Then it all went wrong.

Padders was caught at slip from a ball which ballooned off his bat, then head. Nelson held down one end as a parade of batsmen came and went at the other, with 6 wickets adding only 8 runs. By the time Nelson was clean-bowled the unthinkable had become the almost inevitable, the last 2 wickets needing 30+ runs. A wounded Daveski, using a runner, added 11 brave runs, but it wasn't enough to save the day, with Salix slipping to a 9 run defeat, from a position that had seemed so promising only an hour earlier. And so to the pub, where even a lap dance for Dozy could not improve the mood. There was one thought written across Tuffer's face "how am I going to tell CK"...

How indeed.

VCGCs drop was off Padders

Salix CC versus Quokkas at Harlington on 05-06-2016(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting second)118all outoff29overs Match Lost
Quokkas127all outoff26overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Chris Lamont23LBW
2.Oliver Ferrari0Caught
3.David Padmore17Caught
4.Sivaarun Thangarajah28Bowled
5.Andrew Grant0Bowled
6.Stuart Lumsden1Bowled
7.Tim Collins2Bowled
8.Fevin Mascarenhas0Caught
9.Azfar Aslam5Not Out
10.Dillan Unadkat0Bowled
11.Dave Henig11Caught
1.Fevin Mascarenhas40130--3.25
2.Azfar Aslam4118118.0024.004.50
3.Stuart Lumsden4028214.0012.007.00
4.David Padmore611728.5018.002.83
5.Dillan Unadkat502237.3310.004.40
6.Andrew Grant3028128.0018.009.33
Chris Lamont2catches
David Padmore2catches
Fevin Mascarenhas1catch
Sivaarun Thangarajah1catch
Stuart Lumsden1drop

Comments, if any, are shown below: Click here to add your own comment

Paddantic left the following remarks on 10th June 2016

Still pulling the strings, eh? OK, I know when I'm beaten. But please, just one 'r'. I grew up scarred by the Barron Knights.

YM left the following remarks on 10th June 2016

Dear Officer of the Club: you can't hide behind a pseudonym as the Website manager of the club has all seeing, all dancing IT skills. Our Beloved leader Kim Il CK has been consulted and it was ruled OK by executive decree rather than a committee collective. The official written record has already been "Stalinised" by airbrush. Also, I still haven't forgiven you for giving me out in Croatia.

Officer of the Club left the following remarks on 10th June 2016

Informative, educational and entertaining - a cracking match report. But don't think we didn't spot your attempt to unilaterally change your own nickname. The Committee will be in touch once it has considered your proposal.