1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
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Ending our home season with a loss: vs Gents of West London 11 Sep 2016 (Season: 2016)
Report by: YM plus Elvis

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CK playing on the M4
After a miserable day of heavy rain on the Saturday, it warmed up well for the last home game. But a lack of covers meant a very damp and the possibly the greenest pitch I have seen in a long time.

The starting omens were not good, as a massive crash on the M4 lead to half the team taking up to 3 hours to arrive. Which is why I am writing this match report: Pretty Boy - permanently crocked and my good self (chronically elderly) had decided to take a bike ride up the festering rubbish pit of a sewer that is the grand Union Canal these days to watch the lads. It was a good job we did as we were then able to umpire the first half of the innings.

Salix went in to bat with only five present: The Gents bowled really very well and really took their catches well as well - it was not a high scoring pitch and Padders did exceptionally well to hit a half ton. Many of the other lads had spent a special night preparing for this game (well documented on WhatsApp for posterity) -this regime might need a slight looking at though, as it's one thing sending photos at three in the morning posing how to do ramp shots and the like in front of pictures of Sachin on the TV at Delilahs flat, and another being not popping up a dolly to get caught for single figures. But I digress.

We adjourned for tea (possibly the worst it has ever been my misfortune to view let alone eat) . I shall not easily forget the cheesy balls and some kind of anaemic pasta shape made out of polystyrene, although to be fair the Rusty Barron seemed to rather like them. After a bit of blokey banter about Puff Daddys man crush, Pretty Boy and I decided to call it a day and renegotiate the 10 mile rubbish pipeline that is the Grand Union, the excessive traffic caused by the still blocked M4 and home for a nice cup of tea. I shall recruit another a wordsmith to describe the Salix bowling, but for us always pleasure to see the Gents.

And so over to the other wordsmith, Elvis, to regurgitate the tale of Salix's bowling performance.

I'll start by mangling some Oscar Wilde: To drop one opener early on who continues to score over 50 may be regarded as misfortune; to drop both looks like carelessness. Thus sums up Salix's afternoon in the field: if we'd denied the Gents' openers a hundred runs between them we'd most likely have made it a much closer game because our late bowling was exceptional and there was little answer to it from the rest of Gents batting once those openers had finally departed, one clean bowled by CK and the other excellently caught by Dozy "take it like a man when it matters" Lamont off Puff Daddy.

I'd like to blame the openers' high scores on Siv because, well, Siv; but that would be unfair and a little hypocritical because it was some early wayward bowling from your correspondent and a few profligate overs elsewhere that let them build on those early drops and offered few further chances. A pity because Teenwolf found his mojo and was mesmerising once in full flow, clean bowling three of their batsmen and giving that awkward mistress Hope an opportunity to show more thigh than we might have thought at the drinks break.

The flurry of late wickets did at least make it look more competitive, but with Siv bought onto bowl the final over to complete his unholy trinity of hungover athleticism we continued our losing streak against Gents, this time by 3 wickets and a faintly embarrassing number of overs to spare.

Our thanks to them; always a nice bunch of guys by whom to get beaten.

drops : Nelson off Padders, Fev off Fev and CK off the Teen wolf

Salix CC versus Gents of West London at Harlington on 11-09-2016(35 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting first)157for 7off35overs Match Lost
Gents of West London158for 6off27.2overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.David Padmore62Bowled
2.Andy Spurr11Caught
3.Mike Ellis4Caught
4.Sivaarun Thangarajah2Caught
5.Chris Lamont10Caught
6.Andrew Grant13Caught
7.Christy Kulasingam29Not Out
8.Darren Gavigan4Caught
9.Oliver Ferrari3Not Out
10.Fevin Mascarenhas0Did Not Bat
11.Roger Heaton0Did Not Bat
Extras19
Total157
No.PlayerOversMaidensRunsWicketsAveSREcon
1.Fevin Mascarenhas6037137.0036.006.17
2.David Padmore5028128.0030.005.60
3.Christy Kulasingam6031131.0036.005.17
4.Mike Ellis40350--8.75
5.Andy Spurr612438.0012.004.00
6.Sivaarun Thangarajah0.2020--6.00
Chris Lamont1catch
Andy Spurr1catch
Christy Kulasingam1drop
Fevin Mascarenhas1drop
Sivaarun Thangarajah1drop


Comments, if any, are shown below: Click here to add your own comment

elvis left the following remarks on 12th September 2016

One final note as I won't be playing on Saturday: this was my final match with Siv and it's been an absolute pleasure playing with you mate for the last 3 years. A pity you can't keep, can't bowl, can't catch and can only score bucket loads of runs. Good luck with impending fatherhood.