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Hansarded: Strollers 16 June (Season: 2002)
Report by: Our man who always runs

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Sitting not strolling

Henceforth, by order of Parliament it shall be known that the new Labour name of the Departments of Health and Social Security and Work and Pensions Cricket team shall be the Strollers. And they will play at the CSSA Ground at Chiswick. It is ordered that the weather will be hot, humid, overcast and a bit like November and the wicket will be a pudding.

And Salix CC will bat first and take a freaking age to get going – see photo. The Strollers bowling will be very accurate and on the wicket at all times so this will not be surprising.

And during the Salix innings the following subsections will apply:


  • He who travels the longest and plays the least will get a Golden (hereinafter known as the Lockster
  • And Civil servants playing for Salix will get a big score and do very well indeed and be a credit to the team and also get a great big bruise on their toes
  • And the lower order will get on with it and clog a few big ones.
  • It is mandatory that Alex will give our Captain out LBW in every game

Tea will be taken in the pavilion and Irelands unlucky exit from the WC will be discussed

And, it is instructed that Salix CC will be abysmally short of bowlers on the day, and those that there are will labour mightily to not that much reward. Unlike New Labour it is apparent that the Salix team will be unable to put a positive spin on anything at all.

Epecially, it is ordered that the Clarkster will be dead unlucky what with a dropped catch or two and some LBWs etc.

The game is ordered to come to slow but inexorable end with Salix trotting out the losers but on the positive side welcoming some excellent new players like Tinker and also a Yorkshireman who both look like they can play better than the old lags who normally populate the side.

And a nice new team that we can play and invite to Glaxo next year

Salix CC versus Strollers at Kings House Sports Ground Chiswick on 16-06-2002(40 Over Game)
Salix CC (batting first)152for 7off40overs Match Lost
Strollers155for 4off31.4overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Neil Clark3Caught
2.Matt Swindells65Bowled
3.Alex Newton3Caught & Bowled
4.John Lock0Bowled
5.Ben Shaw28LBW
6.Dominic Spillane11Run Out
7.Andy Rayner6Not Out
8.Graham Nannery16Caught
9.Tony Fletcher2Not Out
10.Steve Jacobs0Did Not Bat
1.Steve Jacobs8125125.0048.003.12
2.Neil Clark8128128.0048.003.50
3.Tony Fletcher8051151.0048.006.38
4.Andy Rayner30190--6.33
5.Matt Swindells20100--5.00
6.Ben Shaw2.4021121.0016.007.88
Graham Nannery1catch
Matt Swindells1catch
Alex Newton1drop
Andy Rayner1drop
Ben Shaw1drop

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