1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.


In which an old dog seeks to teach the team new tricks...: vs Belmont and Edgware CC 20 Aug 2017 (Season: 2017)
Report by: Monty Red Barron

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A fighting 50 and bat carry for our OAP opener
The signs were not promising on Sunday morning as our troops marched towards North London. True, the weather was bright, but in a game which traditionally fields 11 men a side we were only ten. Of those; one had last picket up a bat before starting his A-level course, one was injured and one was broken down 25 miles south of London*. Happily though we first to bat and could therefore martial our latecomers.

As regular readers of these reports will know, our season has been beset with problems in the batting department. With one or two notable exceptions our line up did not include our current big hitters and so an unusual opening pair of The Nurdler and the RLM were seen walking to the crease (combined aged 124 years). When the RLM picked out a fielder early on to depart for a duck the stage seemed set for the all-to-familiar Salix batting collapse. Middle order batsmen ran around looking for pads and the Captain wondered how to break the news to CK.

Our fears were unfounded. Teenwolf was next up and a calm fell over the batsmen. The total started to climb. Once Teenwolf was set he started to score with relative freedom all around the ground and even The Nurdler was able to sneak a few through to the boundary. As the overs went by the run-rate looked healthy, with the partnership worth an impressive 80 runs, before Teenwolf ran himself out, having just completed his 50.

I feel I should pause at this point to reflect on Teenwolf. A 50 is always cause for celebration. In a season when our scores have regularly not exceeded 100 it is impressive. On any other day Teenwolf would be the centrepiece of this report, but today, for reasons which will become apparent, it was not to be. Nevertheless hats of to the new Dad (who embarrassed us all by cycling 18km to and from the ground) and his achievement.

With Teenwolf gone Padders advanced to the wicket. Regrettably he was clean bowled for 5, with Chintan, CP and I all following in quick succession, none of us getting into double figures. A game that had looked promising now swung against us. However the score kept advancing and we thought 140+ might be possible, should the tail wag.

The more observant amongst you will note we have heard nothing of opening batsman Nurdler for a while. Dismissals and some "creative shots" from the batsmen at the other end had denied him the limelight, but, as Smutty went out to become his 7th partner of the afternoon, a quick bit of maths showed he had advanced to 40 runs...

The Nurdler is not a flashy batsman, but he is effective. Slow and steady, playing each ball on its merits. Nothing in the air, not wafting at passing tempters. He is in control. He may not score fast, but score he does. Watching him that afternoon it was clear that his wicket was his own, and with 10 overs left he had more than enough time to complete a half century, the question was, could the tail hang around long enough to see him through?

When Tim was clean bowled, Tuffers was our penultimate batsman, with the Nurdler still needing 6 runs. It was high drama on boundary rope from where we willed him on. Tuffers did the job, holding out the attack long enough for The Nurdler to get his half ton. Not content with that milestone he then went on to another, becoming only the second Salix player to carry his bat through a 40 over match. We were in awe.

The man himself was modest in his achievements, having earlier been asked if he knew his score he answered "I don't know, I don't care, I'm bloody knackered". Zen.

The final tally was 165, which must surely be a contender for our best of the year.

After a very nice tea, we were in to bowl. BK1 made an early inroad and Teenwolf was miserly. We knew however, in a 40 over game, we needed wickets. As was so often the case this year, the bowling change bought forth Padders and Padders bought forth wickets. Two in his second over, to be exact. With the score and 40-3 things seemed to be going our way, but things were about to change and the score rose inexorably. We changed to spin for the relief. Dills bowled a very nice line, and Chintan, after an expensive first over, followed suit. However neither was able to take a wicket. When Teenwolf came back on he was able to snaffle a couple more batsmen, but no one could remove their big scorer.

In the end BECC made it home with 5 overs to spare. Disappointing after a good start but the boys took some comfort from a good performance from an understrength team and the sight of the Nurdlers, bat tucked under one arm, walking onto the field and into the history books.

* I should clarify that Smutty was not, himself, broken down. It was his car. The philological stability of the Sumtmeister, alarmingly, on an even keel.

Salix CC versus Belmont and Edgware CC at Mill Hill on 20-08-2017(Timed Game)
Salix CC (batting first)165for 7off40overs Match Lost
Belmont and Edgware CC169for 5off35overs
NoPlayerScoreHow Out
1.Dominic Spillane57Not Out
2.Irwin Sarif0Caught
3.Andy Spurr50Run Out
4.David Padmore5Bowled
5.Chintan Shah5Caught
6.James Charlton1Bowled
7.Oliver Ferrari9Bowled
8.Tim Collins6Bowled
9.Dillan Unadkat6Not Out
10.Balakalyan Kakumanu0Did Not Bat
1.Andy Spurr8028214.0024.003.50
2.Balakalyan Kakumanu8044144.0048.005.50
3.David Padmore8131215.5024.003.88
4.Dillan Unadkat71240--3.43
5.Chintan Shah30240--8.00
6.Dominic Spillane10100--10.00
Andy Spurr1catch
Irwin Sarif1drop
Andy Spurr1drop

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