1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths. More quotes here.
Report by: The Man in Charge
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Once again an unseasonably beautiful English summer day. Your Director turned up at the ground to find the Sarif's and Orr Ewings feasting on a sumptuous picnic under the shade of old oak tree: our summer personified. The rest of the team slowly filtered into the ground, including Mr. Rogers who had been so inebriated the previous night that he had amusingly forgotten he had phoned yours truly. But it didn't hamper his play. Oh no.
Losing the toss, Cap'n Ben got his way anyhow and we trooped out to bat (Memo from Director to Cap'n: I'm happy to bat at 11 if you think that's best. You won't hear me complaining.). A frisson of fear ran through our team as we realised the average age of the opponents was less than 21, and they were fielding an older team that day. This frisson may well have been the cause of openers edging a few, top slicing some catches and generally not getting off to a great start. But then in strode that colossus of the Pina Colada, Mr. R, who hammered his way to a magnificent 49 under the eyes of his dad, before getting caught one short of the magic number. As the rest of Salix tripped their merry way in and straight out again (notable mention, Mr. Golden, Alex) we had set a somewhat miserable target of 136.
After tea, we ran lithely out on the to pitch (yeah, right, the teams consumption of Ibuprofen tablets has made me think I should get them wholesale), made warming up noises and then realised that we were abysmally short of established bowlers. Cap'n Ben removed his pads and together with Alex , opened the bowling, with Alex getting a wicket.
Disaster loomed as Fletch and Paul stepped up to be second change, but actually (and I say this myself with all due humility), we bowled pretty well, the scoring rate slowed right down, Paul got a wicket and I ran a guy out following a magnificent throw from Robert right on the boundary. Again however our catching was letting us down. Paul could be forgiven for the one he dropped in the gully that belted him viciously in the shoulder, but we ought to have held the others. As we came off the bowling, they needed about 35 to win and they duly set about the 3rd change bowling (which credit to Matt and Irwin was not half bad). In truth 136 was not a defendable total on the day and they pretty much cruised to it.
All in all, another lovely ground, a beautiful day, some really nice opponents
(albeit that they were all born in the 1980's) and you have to ask yourself,
what more could a man want (apart from not to bat at 11 that is)
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