1. Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy (Stephen Fry)
2. FOOTBALL offers the world clichés; RUGBY produces facial deformity; HOCKEY provides an acceptable outlet for psychotic violence; CRICKET alone breeds myths... More quotes here.

The 2nd Annual TRMCCC Dinner and Award Ceremony  Dec 96

Award Category



The Tony Adams award for effort AKA doing the donkey work Andrew Shilling for his 280 consecutive overs bowling uphill on tour Andrew
  That old bloke who at over 70 years old still pinned us down for 13 overs  
  Charlie for the thankless task of organising us lot - but Irwin won't vote for him coz the bastards just passed it on to him  
Catch of the season Mark Rodbert at 1 st slip in the second tour match taking the edge from their centurion Fletch
  Fletch for just about any of his catches this season - especially off his own bowling  
  Irwin - well he would be in if he had caught anything all season  
The ruler award a special award for those of need of a little help with their length From what has been reported this year from the showers MR could do with some assistance in this department but he assures us this is normal for a good Jewish boy from north London Simon Curtis
  The choices are Simon Curtis Mark Barrott - but 1 am exempt from this award because 1 need a lot of help with my length  
The vanishing act award Mark Barrott from any weekend match Andrew Chat (coz Mark wrote the awards)
  Andrew Chttrabuti from the tour  
  Mark Barrott's form  
The "spit the dummy" award - an Australian expression which given the victim of this incident is appropriate Only one nominee for this award - Rodbert Citation - for behaviour above and beyond the call of duty.
The Bleeding award Charlie for a good strong performance all year Charlie and here is something to stop your bleeding
  Everyone but Rodbert on tour regarding his room (special acknowledgement to Irwin and Charlie)  
The bottle award Robert Orr-Ewing for regaining his bottle after the last match of last season ROE
  Mark Rodbert for having the sheer bottle to sleep in that palatial room whilst his so-called mates had to sleep 5 to a bed in a broom cupboard down the corridor  
Brylcreem Boy Award This would have gone to Andrew Chat but he's already got an award so the winner by default is Rob Bailey- Plus a special award to Rob a map to St Albans so he can get the fuck out of our office for a change
Special Lifetimes' achievement award Mark Rodbert - Citation from the academy reads: Mark has dedicated his winters to training and looking good in front of the mirror and this year all his efforts have paid off. Mark is the only member of the club who has managed to start and finish the season with a duck. For this achievement the academy has decided this evening to present this special award.